How to Deal with your 'Female' Counterparts
by AruaPearl44
Summary: Just like the title says. Some GiratinaXArceus hints. RXR.


How to deal with your Female Counter Parts

**This is inspired by CrystalTamer13's guide but some things are different. Different my way.**

Summery: Arceus has decided to write a guide to all Females and his brother.

_Arceus: Hey guys. I know your wondering why I have written a guide. Well since Ash is coming back soon and the you guys have been bugging me with stupid questions. I decided to help you._

Who's your partner?

Cresselia-Darkrai's take on her: She's evil. She's an insane, blood lusting, psychopathic killing machine. She may seem sweat on the outside but she has a heart of coal.(Note to self. Don't let Cress see this.)

Palkia-Diagla's take on her: She's nice but when angry she's almost as bad as Cress. I said to her 'Is it that time of month again?' And she sent me to another world. (Well duh. Diagla, score down to Tips for Dealing with the Unstable Counterpart, Rule 1. That will answer you problems completely.)

Kyogre-Groudon's take on her: I'm scared of her. I said was she acts like Ash and she blasts me with a water spout. (You know my brother's a monster. She doesn't want to be like him. Idiot.)

Kyogre-Rayquaza's take: She and Groundon won't stop fighting. Have you seen the fights I've broken up between those two...(I have. I've installed cameras all over the Hall of Origin. Even in Giratina's shower. They're just not computable. Oh no, looks like they're fighting again.) Rayquaza gives them the death glare.

Lugia-Ho-ho's take on her: She's a sweet girl but she keeps comparing me to Shadow Lugia.(She like's S-Lugia.)

Ho-ho-Lugia's take: She's an annoying woman that keeps talking about herself. (Refer to rule 6.)

Registeel-Regirock's take on her: She's a sadist. The woman has more insane schemes than anyone else I've ever met. And she always drags me into them. Save me. (Regirock, refer to Rule 3. And Ash had way more seams.)

Registeel-Regice's take: Beep. Beep. Beep-bop. Beep! (Me:O.O' I don't speak beep. Use English.)

Giratina-my take on her: She's pretty warped but is good at heart. Just don't make her mad or your in a world of hurt. And don't insalt Ash around her.

Deoxys-Mewtwo's take on him: He blasted me after I said I put a computer chip in his arm. (I would too. No wonder you're on this thing, idiot!)

Mewtwo-Deoxys' take on him: He put a computer chip in my arm. (He did that to me, Cress, Darkrai and Rayquaza, too.)

Suicune-Raikou's take on her: She's okay except for her tom-boy attitude. She thinks she's as good as me. (She is. I can see why she doesn't like you.)

Ash-My take on him; He's insane and wants to kill me a lot. But he does have a sweet side. I have also heard he can control his sides anymore. I just hope that his sweet side stays a long time. I don't like the one that try's to kill me.

Notable Unstable Females: Ash (He's crazy. And wants to kill me.), Giratina (I love ya baby!), Cresselia (Whatever you do, do NOT get her pissed off), Suicune, Lugia (she's a little less unstable than some, but still...), Ho-oh (She's so annoying.), Palkia (Damn Roar of Space. I still have buses. She's scarier than Cresselia), Kyogre (I feel bad for ANYONE who pisses her off.), Mewtwo (Has crazy experiments.), and Deoxys (Beat up Dialga. On the bright side, I won fifty dollars from Entei.)

Less Unstable:

Celebi (Still a slight bit piss around Mew. But who isn't?)

Mew.(Annoying. Won't shut up.)

Mesprit (Too genital. And she's bad at her magic shows.)

Azelf. (She's annoying. Mew's partner-in-crime. Says like too much. But harmless.)

Shaymin. (Just don't step on any flowers. Otherwise you'll be on her good side.)

Latias (Nice. I do feel bad for her though.)

Does Not have a counterpart, but still avoid: Heatran, the Lava Toad. He is in the same category as Registeel. Do not let into Mewtwo's lab or it will end badly. I also think he's gay. He keeps tailing me.

Tips for Dealing with the Unstable Counterparts

1. Never, Ever say 'Is it that time of the month, again?' This is a major no-no. (Ask Dialga and Darkrai. They've made that mistake before.)

2. Avoid the 'p-word' altogether.

3. Registeel is an insane sadist. Avoid at all costs.

4. Cresselia is almost as bad as Registeel when she's piss. Do not let her have any shape objects when mad. (How else do you think Darkrai lost his legs, hm?)

5. Kyogre. Mad. She likes chocolate and Suicune. Give her one of those two things and all is forgiven.

6. Ho-ho is a self-centered, flashy pain in the ass. She will never change.

7. What to do when confronted: Run like hell. That's all there is to it.

8. If you can't run, NEVER go in alone.

9. Or in my case, "Giratina, I love you." are the magic words.

Things never to say and a scale of how much pain various male Legendaries were put though when confronting their female counterpart:

"What the hell did I do now?"-Darkrai-6 1/2

"You're insane, lady." -Regirock, 7

"What the hell is wrong with you?" -Groudon, 8

"Someone obviously forgot to take their happy-pills today." -Darkrai and me 9 1/2

"Is it that time of the month again?" -Palkia, 20

"You psychotic bitch!" Darkrai, Groudon, and Regirock, 25

I recommend that you never say these things to your counterpart, unless you want to get a Roar of Space, Judgement, Water Spout, Giga Impact, or Hyper Beam to the face. (Ash knows Judgement too so watch out for him.)

What to say to her:

My case with Giratina is easy, "I love you" or "Let's go make out" get the best results.

Ash: I don't know how to calm him down. But food is usually the best thing to give him.

Cresselia: Um...she's always PO'd about something. I can't really think of anything right now... (Sorry Darkrai!)

Kyogre: Refer to Rule 5. Talking is pointless.

Suicune: Give her Entei. She talks to him. Anger at Raikou? No more.

Registeel: "Let's go plot to kill Regigigas" works wonders.

Palkia: She likes to talk to Giratina so give her Giratina.

Lugia: Insult Ho-ho. Whatever you do, do NOT insult Shadow Lugia.

Ho-ho: Insult S-Lugia. Flatter her.

Deoxys: Nothing you can say will calm him down. Give him Diagla to use as a punching bag.

Questions

Regice: Beep beep bop. Beep?

Me: (Hits him) For the last time I don't speak beeps.

Diagla: Palkia is angry at me again. (Son look at the What to say to her section and look at the Palkia section.)

Diagla: Oh.

Regirock: Registeel is after me again.

Me: Did you refer to rule 3?

Regirock: Yes.

Me: Then here. (Arceus gave Regirock his keys.) Drive away and avoid toilets.

Groundon: I tried talking to Kyogre and it didn't work!

Me: Did you try chocolate?

Groudon: No.

Me: Did you even read this guide?

Groudon: Begins scrolling up.

Me: I thought as much.

Rayquaza: Ash is coming quickly. What do we do?

Me: We act like normal.

_Arceus watch as Cresselia ripped the door of Darkrai's closet open. "I'm going to kill you!" she screamed, then started chasing after him._

_Suddenly another Giratina appeared at the steps. "Where am I?" He asked. "You're home." Rayquaza said. "But this isn't Pallet Town." The Giratina said. "No you're in your true home." Arceus said. "We'll explained this later." _

_Then he looked down at the papers in his hand. Maybe I can do a sequel to this, he thought. Then he turned and went to watch Darkrai get killed by Cresselia. While that happen the Giratina said. "Does this happen a lot?" "Everyday." Arceus said._

**Hope you like it.**

**And I know what your thinking and yes Ash is now dead and in the Hall of Origin. **

**I may do a squeal to this. It's going to be great.**

**AuraPearl44_May the Aura be with you_Peace.**


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